Ok so it has been a while since I last posted but a lot has happened in that time. You know life is actually a funny thing, a few months ago I got a astrology reading from someone who said I am going to meet a man and he will be my life partner and I will meet him on a dating site and I must not dismiss him but give him a chance. Well I always get these readings and will read it and then forget all about it which I have done so imagine my surprise when 2 weeks ago I met someone not on a dating site but a chat site and we started e-mailing each other. He is the most amazing person on earth and I belief I have fell madly in love with him!!!!! How is this possible? To fall in love with someone you have never met before? I feel such a connection with him and I know I am going to spend the rest of my life with this wild viking and I know that he is going to make me ecstatically happy for the rest of my life.
I know some people will start warning me and belief me my own brain has already started with the logical side coming up with all kinds of warnings but damn I am going to start following my heart this time. The other thing that is also nice is that he offered me a job which i accepted as well, so I am planning on doing something else and that is living a dream of being on the ocean.
I am one of the few people I know that can create what I want in my life, knowing this I have to be careful as when I start becoming negative I can create the negative as well so I always have to look and beware of my thoughts!
I am this morning feeling very excited as it is weekend and closer to December and I have asked my wild viking to come here and go away with me for the holidays so that we can get to know each other before I make that big move to another country. Although I know it is going to happen, as it is predicted that I am going to live in an European country and this time I will follow the path that has been predicted for me.
Moving away to a country that I don't know with no family or friends and a language that I don't know is going to be such a challenge and adventure and I can't wait for it anymore to happen.
So I will keep up to date with what is happening in the life of a mad dolphin hehehe
Take care and be well, love u all to bits.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
Madness is back
Ok so I am in a weird space again what must I do about it is what I want to know? Actually I have discovered that the best way to deal with this is by just being and feeling what is happening inside myself and then accepting it and letting it go.
I am going to blame the fact that I am tired and want my holiday now!! I feel myself moving to that place where I just want to crawl into a little hole again cover myself up and telling everyone to just go and leave me alone.
Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to be happy and joyful during the day just to hide the fact that you would rather sulk in a corner? Well I can tell you it is exhausting!!
Basically I am feeling unloved and uncared for and I do know it is the biggest lot of rubbish out there but that is how I am feeling at this moment in time and I am going to just go with it. I was so glad to find out yesterday Monday is a public holiday. I have already planned my weekend and belief me it involves a lot of reading. I am going to transport myself into the magical world of the written word, might actually also watch some movies as I have a lot to watch but I belief reading might be the best.
Anyway I thought I should just write something otherwise time just pass and nothing gets said and this is my blog where I can be miserable if I want to be.
Have a nice day.
I am going to blame the fact that I am tired and want my holiday now!! I feel myself moving to that place where I just want to crawl into a little hole again cover myself up and telling everyone to just go and leave me alone.
Do you have any idea how much energy it takes to be happy and joyful during the day just to hide the fact that you would rather sulk in a corner? Well I can tell you it is exhausting!!
Basically I am feeling unloved and uncared for and I do know it is the biggest lot of rubbish out there but that is how I am feeling at this moment in time and I am going to just go with it. I was so glad to find out yesterday Monday is a public holiday. I have already planned my weekend and belief me it involves a lot of reading. I am going to transport myself into the magical world of the written word, might actually also watch some movies as I have a lot to watch but I belief reading might be the best.
Anyway I thought I should just write something otherwise time just pass and nothing gets said and this is my blog where I can be miserable if I want to be.
Have a nice day.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Quiet
Ok so I have been very quiet the last week or so. A lot of things have happened and it sort of freaked me out a little bit.
I have been very busy, was sort of coaxed out of my little hole, comfort zone and went out more lately. It was nice and I enjoyed myself but I almost instantly wish I was back alone at my place.
Now don't get me wrong I really enjoyed myself but being an introvert it is very difficult to mix with others when u have indulged in doing your own thing.
I did something last week that was so nerve wrecking and exciting at the same time and made me just want more!!! I am not going to go into detail here as it is very private.
I also became very brave and confronted someone who knows I detest confrontation. It was a very freeing experience to actually stand my ground.
Sexy man is not just a sexy man he is a very wise man and showed me that the person feeling inadequate and with no self esteem or worth tried to turn all the tables on me. Thank you sexy man u are the best thing in the world. I hope you realize that?
I also became extremely brave and booked myself a holiday in December on my own. It is the first time I am doing something like this. All my life I have been going to other people, family, friends etc.
Although I have already got a couple of commitments for the holiday with friends in Cape Town I will only see them for a day and not every day as it always have been. I am honest looking way forward to this experience.
My sister who is not really my sister but if I had to have one she would be it as she is a soul sister has created a chat site for me and it is so exciting to watch her do it. I stayed with her this last weekend and went with her to her daughters matric farewell. Do you know every single girl that was there looked like a fairy princess it is so wonderful to see these beautiful girls going into womanhood and so beautiful and poised.
It was such a wonderful weekend as I visited with them, relaxing and comforting being with someone that loves and cares for you. The funny thing was we could sit for hours together not saying a word and it was ok as just being with her was wonderful. It is truly lovely and wonderful to have a sister and friend that understands that you don't have to talk the whole time. It is just to be together that is important.
I have moved into such a wonderful space at the moment and almost feel myself again, happy and content with the way things are going. I am full of laughs and find it funny that I allowed myself to fall into a bottomless pit which is not so bottomless after all.
I promise to write more often as it really helps to just get the stuff off my brain and somewhere else.
Have a sunshine day!
I have been very busy, was sort of coaxed out of my little hole, comfort zone and went out more lately. It was nice and I enjoyed myself but I almost instantly wish I was back alone at my place.
Now don't get me wrong I really enjoyed myself but being an introvert it is very difficult to mix with others when u have indulged in doing your own thing.
I did something last week that was so nerve wrecking and exciting at the same time and made me just want more!!! I am not going to go into detail here as it is very private.
I also became very brave and confronted someone who knows I detest confrontation. It was a very freeing experience to actually stand my ground.
Sexy man is not just a sexy man he is a very wise man and showed me that the person feeling inadequate and with no self esteem or worth tried to turn all the tables on me. Thank you sexy man u are the best thing in the world. I hope you realize that?
I also became extremely brave and booked myself a holiday in December on my own. It is the first time I am doing something like this. All my life I have been going to other people, family, friends etc.
Although I have already got a couple of commitments for the holiday with friends in Cape Town I will only see them for a day and not every day as it always have been. I am honest looking way forward to this experience.
My sister who is not really my sister but if I had to have one she would be it as she is a soul sister has created a chat site for me and it is so exciting to watch her do it. I stayed with her this last weekend and went with her to her daughters matric farewell. Do you know every single girl that was there looked like a fairy princess it is so wonderful to see these beautiful girls going into womanhood and so beautiful and poised.
It was such a wonderful weekend as I visited with them, relaxing and comforting being with someone that loves and cares for you. The funny thing was we could sit for hours together not saying a word and it was ok as just being with her was wonderful. It is truly lovely and wonderful to have a sister and friend that understands that you don't have to talk the whole time. It is just to be together that is important.
I have moved into such a wonderful space at the moment and almost feel myself again, happy and content with the way things are going. I am full of laughs and find it funny that I allowed myself to fall into a bottomless pit which is not so bottomless after all.
I promise to write more often as it really helps to just get the stuff off my brain and somewhere else.
Have a sunshine day!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Spring has sprung!!!
Yeah!!! it is spring new season new outlook the season has changed and it is time to have fun!!
I have ventured out of the house and am visiting my friends and having a ball, just ordering the friends kids to make coffee and bring cold drinks, maybe I should change my mind about having kids NOT!!!!!
It is nice being with friends again and out of the house and letting myself be with people, I am going to enjoy it even though I feel somewhere inside I want to be on my own.
I also miss sexy man it is so strange that I am getting used to chatting to him every day even if I don't see him on a regular basis I enjoy talking to him and telling him things that I won't tell anyone else about things that i tell him on a daily basis.
anyway it is just a short note that I am leaving here today.
Have a wonderful spring day and let the monthe of September have smiles and giggles
I have ventured out of the house and am visiting my friends and having a ball, just ordering the friends kids to make coffee and bring cold drinks, maybe I should change my mind about having kids NOT!!!!!
It is nice being with friends again and out of the house and letting myself be with people, I am going to enjoy it even though I feel somewhere inside I want to be on my own.
I also miss sexy man it is so strange that I am getting used to chatting to him every day even if I don't see him on a regular basis I enjoy talking to him and telling him things that I won't tell anyone else about things that i tell him on a daily basis.
anyway it is just a short note that I am leaving here today.
Have a wonderful spring day and let the monthe of September have smiles and giggles
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