Sourpuss

Hehehe can you belief it? comment by someone! o well I guess i do come off as a sourpuss but honestly being stuck in a dark pit is really so o so sad!

O well I am still there but have decided that I will use this as a tool to get myself out of that pit even if I have to crawl to the top! hahaha it is going to be a lot of crawling the way I feel now but I will use this depression the get in touch with those feelings I have been hiding away for awhile, you know the ones u don't want to admit is sitting there looking at you, in fact screaming "look at me!" but you just brush it aside saying not now I am busy, go away I will deal with you later.

Well guess what later has arrived with a bang so it is time to look at why I am ignoring my feelings of not doing certain things which should have been dealt with a long time ago. You might be wondering what I am talking about and honestly I am wondering what I am talking about as I have been ignoring the problem for so long that I have to now sit down and find out what I have to look at.

I think this is why I decided to start writting my blog (spelling mistakes and all) and to see where it will take me. Will it take me to the deeper part of my mind that I hide from the world and myself?

You know of course the person you lie the most to is yourself. Is it possible to really honestly be truly honest with yourself in a brutal way? I doubt it very much, I thought I was but have discovered I really can lie to myself the best. So now it is time to start taking action and telling myself the truth.

Being honest with others is also a very tricky thing, when u rather tell a little white lie because you don't want to hurt their feelings is rather saying I don't want to hurt my feelings. If you are truly honest with yourself then you can be honest with everyone else so I guess I will start by being honest with myself and the first honest thing I will tell myself is get a life girl and start crawling out of this dark pit you have thrown yourself in.

You know that there are times I get home sit in the car and think to myself if i close the garage door it will be so easy to just let the car run and go to sleep and never wake up. Then I realise if I do that I might miss out of something rather exciting tomorrow. Who knows I might inherit millions and by killing myself I might loose out on the excitement of spending all those millions lmfho!

Anyway I think that is enough dribble for one evening and funny I feel much better now so no more miss sourpuss for me!

Have a sunshine day and moonfilled evening